Wednesday, April 6, 2016

πŸ”₯Hot Sweaty Knight and a Holy GrailπŸ†

Okay I lied about the hot, sweaty knight. But for those of you who were hoping for one, here you go.


I am, however serious about the Holy Grail part. And hopefully if you are experiencing sweaty nights of tossing and turning and feeling like a hot mess over a crisis in your life, sipping from this Grail will offer you some relief. You don't actually need a knight in shining armor - well at least not to save you from a dragon or find your Grail for you.πŸ˜„

If you are curious about the new direction I am taking with Sparks & Leaps and my just-started-all-over-again book, here is the general theme:

When a mid-life woman is facing a traumatic divorce, it’s easy for her to feel overwhelmed, hopeless, and at the mercy of miserable circumstances. But there’s another path available, a magical path that’s full of unimagined possibility. I provide a map to that path and I guide her on a journey of becoming the courageous heroine of her own story. Through this, she discovers powers she never knew she had, finds the hidden gifts in her present situation, and learns how to create an even richer and more fulfilling life. 

Below is information about the Hero and Heroine's Journey as well as a special offer for 7 women who meet my criteria for a Beta Test. See yellow highlighted section at the bottom of the post. I would greatly appreciate it if you would forward this to anyone you know who matches the description. 


The Hero's Journey is an archetypal story that appears all over the world from ancient myths, religious parables and fairy tales through almost every single adventure book and movie in present time. There is a reason that this theme is so enduring and ubiquitous. Although it is wildly popular in fiction, it is also evident in the real lives of real people. Especially those who, when confronted with a life changing challenge, embark on an inner Quest. Anyone can choose to become the hero or heroine of their own story rather than a vicim and find a “Holy Grail” that will offer miraculous gifts. Anyone — even you. 

It wasn't until years after my divorce that I realized I had in fact taken this very journey. It was certainly not one that I consciously chose, and I would not have identified  myself as a heroine as I lay curled up in a ball under blankets with my teeth literally chattering in terror, hating myself and my life, wishing I was dead and seeing no possibility for anything good to ever happen to me again. This did not look like an exciting adventure to me. It looked like a downhill skid into a dark chasm of endless misery. Little did I know this is a stage of a classic journey and that there was a Holy Grail waiting for me that would bring me joy beyond anything I had experienced in my entire life. Not that I float on a perpetual cloud of bliss now, but I am a stronger, wiser, healthier, more confident, hopeful and much more joyful woman than I was before. I am deeply grateful for everything that happened — especially for having my heart broken.

I am not a fluke whose circumstances just happened to fall into the same pattern as some obscure old myth. Part of my adventure has been to immerse myself in the stories of those who have also undergone this journey. Again, this was not something I planned. But it seemed like every time I opened my computer or walked through a library or bookstore or had a conversation with a random stranger, there was the same story. It wasn't always about a divorce, sometimes it was about a disease diagnosis or a bankruptcy or the death of a loved one or an addict that hit bottom or any of the wide variety of challenges that involved someone's world imploding and a subsequent journey that brought miraculous changes. And without exception all of them who chose to go from victim to hero (although they probably would not have described it that way) found their version of a Holy Grail.

If you are experiencing intense pain from your divorce or other crisis and possibly also in the midst of a perfect storm of other challenging events that may or may not be related, this is actually a fortuitous sign. I know it seems to be exactly the opposite. I am willing to bet that if you were given the choice of either going on a Hero or Heroine’s Adventure in search of a Holy Grail  or having a magic wand that would fix all of your problems and make the pain go away, there would be no contest. The wand would win over the Grail every time.

But there is no wand. There are certainly an abundance of promises of wand equivalents in the form of “fixes”. There are fixes that promise to numb the pain — like alcohol, pills, shopping, games,TV, food, busyness and any of our other addictions we turn to when we “need a fix”. πŸ’‰πŸ’ŠπŸŽ°πŸ©πŸ’»πŸΈπŸ“Ί

Any fixes that are used to numb the pain, rather than feel it are like high interest credit cards. They can spiral out of control leaving you in a heap of trouble that is far worse than your original need. This is not to say that one should never use a credit card, take pain relieving medications or do anything fun. Sometimes a credit card or a pill can be a lifesaver and pleasure and play are absolutely essential. (Just in case you are new to my posts I wanted to make this point really clear!) Even magic wands have their place in conjuring possibilities that are out of our usual belief systems.

But we have become far too dependent upon having things be comfortable all the time and have lost confidence in our ability to be present with discomfort. When we attempt to control our feelings with the belief that they are somehow a problem, we grow to fear our feelings more and more. Kind of like the monster that gets bigger each time we don't have the courage to peek under the bed.

Monster under my bed by Tarasovagalya

And then there is the vast world of fixes in the realm of self -help that promise to “fix your problems” — which ironically often have to do with addressing the new problems stemming from the out-of-control-fixes we turned to, in our attempts to numb the pain. 

Perhaps you are familiar with the books, tele seminars, programs, workshops, etc. that attach a number (usually 3, 5, 7 or 10) to a word like “keys”, “secrets”, “steps”, “portals”, “modules”, with enticing adjectives like “clear”, “easy” and “powerful” and perhaps even a money back guarantee. There is something so reassuring about this linear formula and who doesn't long for clarity, ease and empowerment?  Even if the results turn out to be temporary (which everything in life is), there is comfort in doing something to at least have the illusion of “taking control” of our ever changing lives and the chaos precipitated by change. 

I am not denigrating the self-help world or the multiple modalities I tried. I might not be alive right now if I had not dived so diligently into that pool. Some of those teachers and healers were brilliant and truly did offer miraculous tools that had helped first them and then many of their followers ...and me. Those temporary solutions were what I was able to take in at that time. I have tried so many “fixes” that it would be embarrassing to list even if I could remember them all. Let's just say over 100 but under 1,000. I learned something from all of them and have immense gratitude for many of the teachers I have found in the world of “fixing my problems”. My offerings through Sparks & Leaps are informed by what I learned from my fixes and from my quests into archetypal myths, ancient wisdom traditions, as well as cutting edge science.

That said, the issue I have with many of the self -help methods is the basic premise that we are broken and in need of fixing. We may indeed have seriously dysfunctional behaviors that need attention, and perhaps one of the helpful programs out there may have been just the ticket at a previous time. If you feel strongly called to a particular protocol like that now, then by all means, trust your intuition and go for it. But if you are not in the throes of a life threatening crisis such as a serious addiction or suicidal depression, I invite you to consider an alternative path in which you are not a problem and neither is your current set of life circumstances. 

If you feel called or even if just slightly curious, try exploring the Hero's Journey.  If you are a woman, consider the Heroine's Journey. (If you click on Heroine's Journey, you will see that it brings you to a page with many versions rather than the one for Hero's Journey. This is because women do not  typically follow the same linear formula as men. The reason why would require another long blog post to explain.)

Dante Gabriel Rossetti - The Damsel of the Sanct Grael 

If you know any women (especially mothers) between the ages of 40 and 60 experiencing a traumatic divorce, I am looking for 7 women who would like to receive the benefits of a what I hope will be a life-changing 7 week program for $50.00. When I officially offer it, the price will begin at $500.00. Since this is a Beta Test, and I will be looking for feedback, I am making the price as close to free as possible while still ensuring that the participants invest enough to take it seriously.

If you are this woman or someone you know has even a SPARK of interest, I encourage you to take a LEAP of faith and contact me with your QUESTions about the GRAIL. This will not be your last leap of faith if you decide to undertake this journey, but each time you take even a baby step, you will become stronger and more able to access an inner guidance that will never steer you wrong. As your faith in this inner truth grows, you will see possibilities you never dreamed of and will feel more hope and joy than you can probably imagine right now. Along with this faith, I also offer some practical skills that will help you navigate the logistics of your divorce and if you have children to help them as well. (Separate program for kids in the works).

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